102.18 SYNOPSIS: At home, Michaela looks at Facebook where Lourdes posted every year on Michaela’s birthday. The next day she shares her feelings with the psychiatrist concerning her mom and Evie’s death. This convinces the psychiatrist that Michaela is ready to return to active duty.
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Michaela reads Lourdes’ tributes
Scene shifts to Michaela’s room in the basement. The camera pans her mother’s stitched pillow with the verse from Romans 8:28 on it. Michaela is reading messages on her laptop from a special “Remembering Michaela Stone” tribute page that was set up after the plane’s disappearance 5 1/2 years ago.
LOURDES (SEPTEMBER 2015): Your favorite flowers remind me of you, dear friend. Happy Birthday.
LOURDES (OCTOBER 2017): Hope and pray you’d bless this [PHOTO OF WEDDING RING ON HER FINGER]. I’ll try to make him as happy as you did.
She closes the laptop’s lid.
Michaela talks about Lourdes’ tributes
Michaela is back in psychiatrist’s office.
MICHAELA: Um off-center. Pissed. Mostly sad.
DR. BORTEL: And why is that?
MICHAELA: Uh because I miss my mom.’Cause you don’t just stop being in love with someone. Um ’cause my best friend in the world, the person I would normally complain to instead of you gets to love the person that I can’t.
DR. BORTEL: How is that friendship?
DR. BORTEL: You feel alone. [SIGHS]
MICHAELA: And out comes the disability form. Get what you wanted?
DR. BORTEL: You’ve accepted what’s happened. That’s a good first step. I’m recommending your conditional reinstatement [PEN SCRIBBLES] but I want to keep seeing you.
Michaela gets her badge back
Michaela walks from her desk a short while thereafter with her badge in her hand.
/POLICE RADIO CHATTER/
JARED: Hey, I heard the news. Congratulations, Detective.
MICHAELA: Oh, yeah, it was a posthumous promotion. I didn’t earn it. I can’t even die the way I’m supposed to.
JARED: Just take the win, would you? And if anyone deserves to have a break go in there direction
MICHAELA: Thanks. I’ll try not to make it too awkward around here.
What we’ve learned in these 2 episodes is that Michaela is lacking in self-confidence outside of her work, and lets everyone in her life browbeat her, scapegoat her and undermine her. She’s like an emotionally abused woman who believes that everything is her fault, her situation can’t be changed, and she’s lucky that anyone cares about her because she’s not worth caring about.